the paquettes

Last month I was blessed by visiting with my dear friend from Houston, Marisa.  She is a pastor’s wife from our old church in Katy, Kingsland Baptist.  I always love talking with her because of her passion for the Lord and her spunky tell-it-like-it-is attitude!  She has a 6 1/2 year old son and one of the things she told me that night was, “I just had the sex talk with K.” 

Whoa.

I knew that sending Rilyn to public school, I would have to do ‘the talk’ sooner rather than later, but THIS early?!?  And her son is homeschooled!  So, naturally, I wanted to hear all about  ‘the talk’ with her son. 

When I got home from coffee that night I talked with James and we really felt that God used Marisa as a vessel to remind us “now is the time.”  I had already heard stories of moms telling me their kids had heard about sex during playground conversations at public school in first grade so I did have it in the back of my mind that we should prepare Rilyn. 

 There are these awesome books out there, called God’s Design for Sex series (4 books) that Marisa used.  The first book you read to your child is written for children ages 3-5!!!  Then the second book you read from ages 5-8, third book age 8-11, and fourth book age 11-14 years.  We bought books 1 and 2.  I love the forward in these books, “Why start early? (teaching your kids about sex)  Because if you as the parent are not teaching your kids about sexuality, they are learning distorted lessons about it from television, the Internet, and playground conversations.  If you stand silent on sex while the rest of the world is abuzz about it, kids come to the conclusion that you cannot help them in this key area.  If you start now in teaching godly, truthful, tactful, and appropriate lessons about sexuality, your children will trust you more and see you as a mother or father who tells the truth!”   Wow.

The first book is entitled, The Story of Me by Stan and Brenna Jones.  The second book is called Before I was Born.  The first book discusses the growth of a child inside a mother’s body and the birth process.  The second book discusses the growth and change as boys and girls become men and women and a tactful but direct explanation of sexual intercourse between a husband and wife. 

So today, I took Rilyn for the day shopping and out to lunch for a mother/daughter date and we had ‘the talk’.  I read to her both books.  The second book is way more graphic in detail than the first and honestly, it was hard to read to my baby girl.  ‘The talk’ went well.  She didn’t ask too many questions, so I plan on reading it to her again next year and the next…She did at one point cover her ears and when I asked why, she said “Because you are about to talk about privates.”  (She saw the picture.)   We talked about that everything I was reading to her is only to be discussed between mommy, daddy and her (or her doctor) and that’s it.  One day she can talk to her husband about it.  😉  We also talked about if she hears things at school, she can always tell me. 

I feel at peace with today knowing that God means for Christian parents to be the primary sex educators of their children.  And first messages are most powerful; why wait until your child hears the wrong thing and then try to correct the misunderstanding?  Sexuality is a beautiful gift; why not present it to your children the way God intended?  Why not establish yourself as the trusted expert to whom your children can turn to find out God’s truth about sexuality?

We took a family walk on our family night last week.  We used this great FREE resource from Family Time Training.

First lesson during our walk:
Phil. 3:13-14 “But one thing I do:  forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

The “Walk”:  Each of us takes turns walking backwards while the others walk forward.  Notice if the walk slows down or if stumbling occurs.

The “Talk”:  Is it easier to stumble moving forward or backwards?  Can you see the goal ahead of you when you are walking backwards?

What happens when you are always looking behind?

Second lesson:
Mark 12:31a “Love your neighbor as yourself”
The “Walk”: Have each person trade shoes with another family member.
The “Talk”: The Bible tells us to love our neighbors. One way to do this is to try to understand them better. There’s a saying about putting “ourselves in the other person’s shoes” when we are having a hard time understanding someone. (This is especially important to talk about with Rilyn who will encounter children at school that are very different from her.) Talk about if you had to suddenly live in one or our neighbor’s lives would it be easy? How can we be more understanding? Pray for them!

James trying to walk in Rilyn’s flip flops!

Rilyn trying to walk in daddy’s flip flops!  Too heavy!

Third lesson:
Galatians 6:2a “Bear one another’s burdens…”
The “Walk”: Have one person sit on the ground as if not able to move. The others will have to help carry the immobile member.
The “Talk”: How can we all get to our goal together if one person can’t walk? How did it make you feel to know you were helping someone else?

A helpful thing we have started this past year is ‘family night journals’. The girls record what they learned immediately after the family night. This is Rilyn’s entry.

Fourth lesson:
John 12:35 “Then Jesus said to them, ‘A little while longer the light is with you. Walk while you have the light, lest darkness overtake you; he who walks in the darkness does not know where he is going.”
The “Walk”: Take turns blindfolding each person one at a time and have them walk a distance without being able to see.
The “Talk”: Could you walk in confidence when you couldn’t see? Why do you think Jesus warns us to not walk in darkness?

How is walking without Jesus like walking blindfolded?

Fifth lesson:
Proverbs 11:3a “The integrity of the upright will guide them…”
The “Walk”: Have everyone crawl on their knees with the exception of one person. Have one person walk upright.
The “Talk”: Which person automatically moves to the front of the group? What kind of person is the Bible referring to when it speaks of someone who walks upright?

We plan on using this family night every year because it is so easy and our discussions will hopefully just get deeper and deeper! 

Oh, and where was Asher?  He was with us, just along for the ‘ride’!

He now only cruises with his feet lounging like this.