Archive for the 'parenting' Category



15
Jan
10

this is for the little girls like keydy

As I am writing this, I am flooded with facebook statuses, e-mails, and blog posts of how to help Haiti.  My friend, JoAnna’s blog post particularly touched me (and Money Saving Mom) and this post is because of what I read.
For Christmas, we give three gifts to each of our children. One want, one need, and one gift for spiritual growth. This year the spiritual growth gift to our girls was sponsoring a little girl their age, named Keydy, from the Dominican Republic. We watched a DVD about where she lives and they understand she needs our prayers and financial support. Rilyn has already written to her and eagerly awaits a letter back in return!
Today, after reading JoAnna’s post, I took my girls aside and talked for the first time about the earthquake in Haiti. (I grew up in southern California and as a girl I experienced first hand major earthquakes and the fear that sets in as the ground shakes.)  I told my daughters how scared the kids are in Haiti and how they need our help.  How Haiti is very close to where Keydy lives and I showed them pictures of children who were hurt, stuck in rubble, and their crushed homes.  Then I told them about Cayden and Deacon, their friends from their Sunday school classes.  And their mom, Jamie, my friend from church.  Their adopted son, Amos, is still there and he needs our prayers and support.  The Iveys were featured on our local news and CNN today, and their story is touching.

So, today, I was challenged to give to Haiti in a real way that our girls understand.  Especially in this material country we live in where everything they could ever want is at their fingertips.  For Valentines Day for the past 2 years, we have given the girls tickets to the Sesame Street Live show.  Today, I talked with the girls about giving the money for our family’s tickets instead to Compassion, the organization we use to sponsor Keydy.  I’m not going to lie and say this was easy for Rilyn.  The first thing she asked was, (with tears in her eyes), “Are we going to be able to buy anything else again ever?”  We talked about shining the light of Jesus to our school, city, state, and world.  I told them that Jesus sometimes asks us to do hard things.  So, today, from our family, we donate $65 (the cost of all 5 tickets to SSL) to Compassion and ask that you would think creatively of something you can forego and donate to the children that so desparately need our prayers and support.

22
Aug
09

dating my daughter

What a fun and meaningful night I had on a date with my oldest daughter Rilyn.  I say meaningful because it was a moment of grace where my heavenly Father gave me a chance to cherish my role as a father and realize what I can offer and what only He can offer.

Gotta have the silly pic!

We did have a blast tonight…I took Rilyn out on a date to ‘Austin Park & Pizza’.  We started out on the bumper boats, played some video games, ate some pizza, drank some root beer, played some miniature golf, and topped it off with Rilyn driving on her own in her first Go Kart race.

Proud moment for daddy:  Rilyn leading!

But amidst the chaos of buffet pizza, black lights, and the blurry Japanese anime projecting in the background, we sat there in our little purple booth…just the two of us, my little girl, my little baby, my first baby…Rilyn.  She heads to kindergarten in four days, man how time flies. It feels like yesterday that I was trying so hard to get her to crawl to me, now all I hear is, ‘I can do it by myself’.  So I feel like this is a major jump for Rilyn into the waters of this world and I wanted to convey to her how much I love her and how I will always be there for her, whenever she needs me.

Golf lesson

Two things hit me in that moment. First, no matter what I said, I felt as if there were no words I could convey powerful enough for her to know how much I love her and how much I want to be there for her whenever she needs me.  The emotion behind that was enough to start the swelling in my eyes. Then it really hit me, as much as I love her and yearn to be there for Rilyn, ultimately I can’t.  It is humanly impossible to be there for her every second of everyday…and eventually I won’t be around.

look alikes

Yet, with tears in my eyes, I looked at Rilyn and said, “Rilyn, look at me, look in my eyes.  I love you so much, and no matter what I will be there for you.  You can come to me for help whenever you need it.”  She looked in my eyes and said, “But how can you be at my school when you have to be at work?”  Wow, she is right….as much as I want to be there for her, there is a limit.  And at first I ached inside, but then grace came and my Heavenly Father reminded me of two awesome truths….

First, He loves Rilyn, (and you and me), more than words can convey…His love is infinite and powerfully revealed through the sending of His only Son, Jesus Christ, to die so that Rilyn, (and you and me), would be able to have abundant life, if we would only trust our life to Him:

John 15:13Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.

John 3:16-18″For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him. He who believes in Him is not judged; he who does not believe has been judged already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.”

Second, what I can’t offer, my heavenly Father can give…He is not limited by time or space and will be there for Rilyn, (and you and me), always and forever:

Hebrews 13:5-6…He Himself has said, “I WILL NEVER DESERT YOU, NOR WILL I EVER FORSAKE YOU….THE LORD IS MY HELPER, I WILL NOT BE AFRAID. WHAT WILL MAN DO TO ME?”

So it’s more than pizza, more than go karts, even more than quality time…I can offer her Him….that turns my tears of angst into tears of joy and peace.

From august 2009
10
Aug
09

swimming lessons

(Going Public part 3)

One of the biggest obstacles Julie and I face as we continue to wade through the issue of our children’s education is trying to determine how much influence we allow the world to have on each child and when.  Of course when it comes to the world ‘out there’ it is really a matter of trust and timing; eventually they will have to swim.  We want our kids to be able to swim and navigate through the waves…that is, not to drown in the waters of the world around them.

On the one hand, it is easy when our eyes are fixated on the world to become overwhelmed and perhaps over-protective of our little ones to the point that home schooling is the only option.   (Note: we definitely see a place for homeschooling, but the question for us is whether that is for our family…not whether it is right or wrong.)

On the other hand, we fully trust that God is Sovereignly in control of our children’s future and that it would take more faith for us to send them out, and thus, for our family (at least for Rilyn….this is a year by year issue), public school is the answer.

Through time in the Word, prayer, and discussion with each other we are convinced that the answer is not black and white.  We know that we are called and given the responsibility to train our children (Prov. 22:6  Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.).  From this truth, we feel the weight of a responsibility to influence each child in a way that will draw them closer to their heavenly Father.

We also know that ultimately God is in control and has the Ultimate influence on everyone and everything (Romans 11:36, “From him, through him, and to him are all things, to Him be glory forever Amen!”)  From this, we are able to draw a peace and courage that God never calls us to do anything apart from him.

So what is our calling?  What is God telling Julie and I?  Something that helped us is the analogy below:

None of us who have children want them to drown.

But how can we prevent it?

One way is to keep them away from bodies of water deeper than two feet.  It works.  Kids won’t drown if they don’t get into deep water.

But we can also guard them from drowning by another method:  teaching them to swim.  Though it isn’t foolproof, it works rather well and provides more freedom.

In the same way, we should teach our kids to “swim” against the currents of the world.  Avoidance of the world is ineffective-children eventually go away to college or start their lives and encounter all the things we guarded them from.

They will be more ready to face worldly currents if we have taught them to swim. (Dennis McCallum, “The Postmodern Puzzle”, The Real Issue March 1998)

Public school is an excellent pool in which to train our young sons and daughters.  Yes, it’s deep and noisy and the water’s cold and sometimes the chlorine gets in your eyes.  Sometimes you get splashed by other swimmers.  But this is preparation for even bigger bodies of waters to come.  Someday they’ll have to swim in Lake Michigan.  (David & Kelly Pritchard, “Going Public”, pg. 27)

Obviously, none of us want our kids to drown… but even more so, we desire our kids to do more than stay afloat…we desire for them flourish, to live life to the fullest….to swim like Michael Phelps and win the race…(1 Cor 9:24).

We didn’t throw Rilyn into the pool as a baby…it wasn’t even until age 3 that she took her first lesson…Julie and I both know that one day she will dive head first into the the waters of this world…so we start today with the swimming lessons. For each parent, this will look different.  Have you ever been to a 3-5 year old class learning to swim?  It is often obvious which kids are ready to learn and which kids are still afraid of the water.  In the same way, each child will  learn to swim at a different age…but we mustn’t let their first lesson be the first time they go into the pool by themselves!

Rilyn’s swimming lessons              From May 2008

Going Public Part 1
Going Public Part 2

07
Aug
09

everybody should “homeschool”

Going Public (part 2)

This part of the book really encouraged me because I’m not just sending my kids ‘off.’  I can send them to public school and “homeschool” them!  I love it!

“Public-school parents, take heart! Not only is it possible for your kids to survive the public-school system, it’s also possible for them to thrive and become fine men and women who make a positive impact on others. And in the process, it’s possible for families of faith to help shape the public-school system and infuse it with the winsome fragrance of Jesus Christ.” (pg. 12)

“We consider ourselves to be our children’s number-one educators, and we will never give up that resposibility or privilege-even though they spend 30 hours a week in somebody else’s classroom.  We instruct our kids every day.  We look for the teachable moments that intersect with what they are experiencing outside our home.  We draw frames around their encounters and activities, showing how they fit within God’s greater perspective.” pg. 21

In this book, it is written that there are five areas that need the greatest attention from parents.  God gave these children to us.  He will hold each of us accountable for their upbringing.  We are their first and ultimate teachers.  What goes into their minds and souls is our responsibility.

1.  Biblical Worldview-The battle between good and evil, light and darkness, the unique place of God’s people in offering His love to humanity, the fact of absolute truth, the coming day of accountability to an eternal God.

2.  Creation

3.  Sexuality-you can ‘opt out’ of public school’s sexuality unit due to it’s failure to address the moral dimension of human sexuality.

4.  American Heritage-Due to a desire to be politically correct, most public schools teach a very skewed, stripped down version of what guided the founding of this nation.

5.  Spiritual Life and Devotion-The public school is not even going to try to expose young people to God’s Word and prayer on a daily basis-and it shouldn’t.  That is our job. pg. 158-160

Going Public part 1 here

01
Aug
09

Going Public

Going Public: Your Child Can Thrive in Public School
I read a book!!   For those who know me well, you know this is a feat! At best, I’m a magazine reader (People magazine is my choice!)  I have always been a fast/good reader, but I have so many other things I would rather do with my free time (i.e. SCRAPBOOKING)!  That being said, a book that catches my eye must be about something that really stirs me.

Rilyn is going to kindergarten in 3 weeks.  And, yes, we are putting her in public school.  This decision seemed simple at first, (to me!)  I mean, I was a public school teacher for three years and I was raised in public school and I turned out fine (right?)     But James was raised in private school and so a small debate ensued…and then we moved to a community where many are homeschooling so that was brought to light as well.

Our purpose as a family is to share Jesus’ Good News of grace, truth, and compassion to our neighborhood, Austin, and the world. And even though home schooling would give us the most direct influence on our children’s’ lives, I couldn’t shake God’s call on our lives to shine the light of Christ in this world like stars in the universe (Phil. 2:15)

As Christians, public school presents several overwhelming and real challenges such as secular curriculum and sex education…BUT God is bigger than our culture, more powerful than the forces of darkness at work in this world.

So it has become one of our missions to go in to public school as a FAMILY.  In other words, we should not think in terms of sending our children off by themselves to shine their light, but rather we go there together.  When we show up in August to enroll our kids for another school year, we are enrolling our family into the life of this institution.  I will be at Rilyn’s school whenever I get a chance.  I will go through all her papers.  I will talk to her each day when she comes home about her friendships, teachers, assignments.  I will live life beside her.  God equips us-just ordinary moms and dads-to equip and fortify our kids.  In so doing, we set them up to face adulthood with strength and conviction.  Starting in the very first classroom, our home, we teach them to be the influencers rather than the influenced.

I needed some encouragement and ‘armor’ as I send Rilyn to public school and this book was perfect for me to read!  I HIGHLY recommend it to anyone who may be struggling and praying about their decision as to how to educate their child and to those that are already in the trenches of public education!

So, I will march into Rilyn’s school on August 25th and not be nervous.  He is Sovereign, after all.  “The one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.”  1 John 4:4

*Going Public Part 2

*Going Public Part 3

This blog post is also really encouraging about the top ten reasons this dad sends his kid to public school.

This blog is also really great about homeschooling your public school kids!

23
Jun
09

don’t let things become kings

We had our “family night” last night and decided to focus on not letting “things” become more important than God.  As we started I told Rilyn and Ella that we were going to pretend we have to leave our house quickly.  We have only 5 minutes to gather up our favorite toys, books, stuffed animals.  Everything you are going to take must fit in your backpack.  When Ella walked in the room after the timer went off she told us, “I’m ready to go to heaven!” I’m pretty sure she really thought that is where we were going. So, after the time was up, we looked through each of their backpacks and discussed why they selected each item.

Rilyn’s backpack of precious ‘stuff’

Next, we read Matthew 19:23-24   Jesus said to his disciples, “I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of Heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.”

I held up a needle and explained.

eye of the needle

It is impossible for a camel to get through this hole in the needle!  Jesus is saying that it is impossible for a rich man to get to heaven. Why? Because when the rich man dies, he is no longer rich as the world defines rich, he can not take his stuff with him! The rich man and the poor man go to heaven with the same amount of material possessions-nothing!
(After this, Rilyn began crying because daddy told her she could not take her bear to heaven. Ella then began crying because daddy told her no blankie either!) Ahem- BUT you don’t need to be sad girls because there is even better things in heaven then bears and blankies! I can’t wait to go to heaven to find out!  To which Rilyn replied, “Is there even a gold kitchen?!?”  We’ll have to see…;-)

Alright, let’s put on your backpacks and get ready to play a game! You have to try and get through this tunnel with your backpack on without messing up the tunnel! (You obviously make the tunnel low enough so that they can not do this successfully.)

oops, can’t seem to go through this right!
Ella collapsed our tunnel with her backpack

So, in order for the kids to succeed, they will have to leave behind their backpacks full of stuff.

What a load off!

You then ask the kids how it felt to leave their things behind?
Rilyn said, “It was easy because then I knew I could get through the tunnel and not mess it up.”

Jesus talks a lot about money and things. He warns us not to love toys, our home, etc. more than God. (Give examples: not giving to the poor; reading all kinds of books, but not the Bible…)

In the first activity you had to pack your backpack. Is there anything in your backpack that reminds you of God? (Sadly, neither girls thought to pack their Bibles…sigh.)
In the second activity we had to crawl through a tunnel. What if our house had been on fire and we had to crawl out to get out safely? People who try to escape the fire and cling to things may not get out safely. Jesus’ story is about a man wanting to get to heaven. We need to be careful not to let “things” become more important than God.

14
May
09

just a little temperamental

I was just so fed up with Ella’s crying fits the other day, that the only thing I could do for my sanity was to video tape her and know that one day this would be funny to me!  If this is what she acts like during a simple ‘ball game’ then we are going to have a lot of fun during the teenage years!  (Pardon our white trash backyard, we had to put all the kids toys ‘up’ so our lawn guy could mow for the first time this year!)

*I love how Rilyn stands up for her sister and says, “Stop video taping her!”  What a mean mommy I am!

03
May
09

these are the moments

Today was the first day that the good ‘ol wading pool came back out and I let the girls ‘swim’ in the backyard.  I had only two rules for the girls to follow:  No chalk in the pool and no sand in the pool.  They repeated the rules back to me and knew them.  I go back in the house and am pleasantly surprised how entertained they are and how much fun they are having.  I love watching them through the window when they think I’m not looking.  Awhile later I go back outside to find…dun Dun DUN…sand in the pool!  Rilyn immediately starts bawling when I asked who did it and she confesses that both her and Ella brought sand into the pool.  “Well, that’s it,” I said.  “No more pool for today.”  (Both girls are crying their eyes out now.)  You both broke the rule, and the consequence is no more pool/backyard for the rest of the day.  (You really would of thought I sentenced them to life in prison by the way they were crying-but this is how my girls are-DRAMATIC)  Then Rilyn, through her blurry eyes, looks up at me, ever so innocently, and asks if she is still going to heaven.

Wow.  I quickly say a little prayer for God to give me the words…

“Yes!  If Jesus is King of your life, nothing can separate you from Heaven.  Not the worst kind of sin you can think of.  And God wants to forgive our sins if we ask Him.”

I then explained to Rilyn and Ella that I sin everyday too, just like them.

“I think we should all ask God for forgiveness right now,” I said.

After our prayer and confession, I told the girls that God has now forgotten that they put sand in the pool!  Their sin is no more!  Rilyn then asked, “Does He still love me?”

“He will ALWAYS love you.  He gets disappointed in the wrong choices you make, but now He forgave you!”

“Where did our sins go?”

“Remember, when we went to the beach 2 weeks ago?  Our sins have been tossed in the deep part of the ocean.”

“Wow!” is all she could say.  And then they both wanted to cuddle.

Lord, let me be Jesus with skin on.

Hebrews 8:12 For I will be merciful toward their iniquities,
and I will remember their sins no more.”

Micah 7:19 He will again have compassion on us;
he will tread our iniquities underfoot.
You will cast all oursins into the depths of the sea.

**Shock!  There are no pictures of the girls in the wading pool because I’m trying to cut back my picture-taking in May, (a little bit of a detox if you will), since I have over 250 pictures to scrapbook right now of Easter, Disneyland, and Asher’s birthday!

25
Mar
09

sounds sweet to my soul

As part of our bedtime routine for a month now, we have been reciting The Lord’s Prayer-Matthew 6:9-13. Rilyn picked it up very fast and began reciting it from memory a couple of weeks ago. It is so beautiful to hear your own child hide the Lord’s Word in her heart! Just a couple of days ago, while we were praying, Ella asked if she could say it by herself. “Sure sweetie. Give it a try.”

Wow! Ella being able to memorize this at the tender age of 3 makes me realize how much they do listen and remember everything we say (whether we like it or not!) I will always treasure the sweet sounds of my little daughter giving praise to the Lord in this video.

Matthew 6:9-13 (King James Version)

9 Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.

10Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.

11Give us this day our daily bread.

12And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

13And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory, forever and ever. Amen.

05
Dec
08

Sin

I was putting laundry away in my room this afternoon and as I was walking out, I thought I heard a crackling sound.  I knew Rilyn was asleep, but Ella could of been awake, so I tiptoed in the kitchen to see if that was her.  I grabbed my camera when I saw her (she didn’t see me) and I quietly whipped around the corner of the kitchen island where I saw this:

From December 2008

Oh yes, she took a candy cane off of the tree and was eating it ever so sneakily (or so she thought).  I love her ‘deer in the head lights’ look in this picture. She very quickly gave me the candy cane when I asked her “what are you doing?” and then confessed her sin to me.