I don’t know what is up with all the critters in our house as of late, but I’m getting sick of it! (mouse in the kitchen in May(didn’t blog that), snake last week, and now…)
So before I tell you what happened this morning, I have to tell you what happened last night.
While I was cooking dinner on the stove, I turned on the overhead stove fan and I heard thumpity thump thump! First thought was that the fan was broken. Second thought was there was a dead mouse up there, and my third thought was a bird. I had remembered hearing faint chirping noises in the vent last week.
Now if you know me, you know I loathe birds. This happened to me a year and a half ago and I still get chills thinking about it. So anyway, I tell James I think our fan is broken or there is an animal up there and so he turns it on and of course, it works fine.
This morning James wants to make breakfast on the stove. He turns the fan on and the thumpity thump thump happens and my first words were “I told you so!” (I love saying that a little too much.) He turns the fan off and on again and no noise. “I’ll deal with it later” is James’ response. Now I’m cleaning up the kitchen after breakfast and I see a bird’s head peeking at me from the vent!!!! (Bird must of used his beak to pry open the vent a little.)
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| bird’s eye and beak creepily looking at me in the upper left hand corner of vent |
So of course I immediately scream bloody murder but James is outside and can’t hear me. But all the kids can and Asher and Ella immediately start crying. Rilyn comes running in the kitchen and I am yelling “There’s a bird in there! I hate birds!” and more screaming ensues from me. Rilyn looks at me and asks, “Why do you hate God’s creation?”
Ouch. That one hurt, but have no time to deal with my sinful state because THERE’S A BIRD IN MY HOUSE! (God understands me.)
So, I calm down enough to take a picture for the blog, (your welcome), and James comes in and I tell him he will get the bird NOW.
Here is James brainstorming.
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| “Maybe I can catch the bird in the bag?!?” |
So James decides the bag probably won’t work and he goes into the garage to think of something else to do. Meanwhile, THE BIRD FLIES OUT OF THE VENT INTO MY LIVING ROOM!!! At this point I lose it and start screaming again (but still remain cool enough to take a picture-give me some credit!).
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| The bird perches on top of the middle curtain rod. |
James comes running in from the garage to find this:
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| rilyn |
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| ella (with some MAJOR bed head) |
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| asher |
So you can safely say that I’ve managed to make sure that all three of my kids will be scared to death of birds for the rest of their life. At least they can look back on this blog and find the exact incident where mommy screwed them up and not have to go to a psychiatrist for it.
So James gets a broom and after about 5 minutes gets the bird to fly out of our house via the back door. I grabbed the kids and put them in their room like it was a scene from the Panic Room.
James now has a new honey-do list and you can bet the first item is “go into attic and do what needs to be done.”
the paquettes 
Julie, I am so sorry that you have endured so, so much these past few weeks! No one should have to deal with all of the mishaps and misadventures that you and your family have endured in the last month.
I must tell you though, that while you were dealing with these horrible things, we readers have become very amused by your postings! This one in particular is absolutely the funniest thing I read in a LONG time! The pictures are priceless!!! I love that you took the time out from your fear to photograph these! You are amazing!
That is just most excellent! Love the story! I guess I am strange as I just welcome all the critters in my house my bird, bearded dragon, fish, and dog, but I am jealous that you have had all of these other visitors. I did get a bat out of Whitney’s master bedroom closet one night a few months ago, but that is the closest I have come. I love the God’s creation comment in the midst of your hysteria…Classic!
Great story. I laughed so loud that my 18 & 20 year old wanted to know what I was reading. Then we read it together. Your story reminds me of one early morning years ago when I sat down on the bed of one of my younger children and my foot landed on a mouse that was caught on a sticky mouse trap. My foot was stuck along with the dead mouse. I screamed and screamed until my husband came to rescue my stuck foot. I could not bare to see the mouse because I knew it would be branded in my mind forever. I still get chills thinking of what happened. Another time, in that same house a tiny mouse came walking out on to my kitchen floor. When I saw him I screamed as if I was in danger. That poor mouse heard my scream and his little legs fell out from underneath him. He was so scared that he ran faster than a lightening bolt. After that I realized they are much more scared of us than we should be of them.
Your story reminds me how exciting it is to live life with children! May God bless your family forever.
I’ve been out of town/not reading blogs for a week or two and settled in last night to read all your updates. I almost wet my pants I was laughing so hard. Eric kept asking me what was so funny, I could barely get out Julie P~! I told him he’d have to read it to get it :). Hope you are animal free for awhile!